¿Dónde está el jodido hilo de los mails en cadena?

[¿Quien es este tipo?]

Si aparcas delante de casa y tocas la bocina, será mejor que vengas a entregar un paquete, porque no conseguirás otra cosa.

Creo que a eso es, precisamente, a lo que van...

[Straika]

Recién llegao:

Hola, nosotros somos Andy y John, los directores de Messenger. Antes que
nada, pedimos perdón por la interrupción pero Messenger se cerrara. Esto
sucederá porque muchas personas desconsideradas tienen varias cuentas
diferentes. En este momento, solo tenemos QUINIENTOS SETENTA Y OCHO (578)
nombres libres y es por esto que el uso de Messenger y Hotmail tendrá un
costo desde el verano del 2008. Si mandas este mensaje, como mínimo, a
dieciocho personas diferentes de tu lista, tu icono se volverá azul, lo que
significa que será gratis para ti. Si no me crees ve a (www.msn.com) y velo
por ti mismo. Si quieres que cerremos tu cuenta no mandes este mensaje, pero
si quieres conservarla entonces manda este mensaje a tus contactos.
Esto no es una broma mándala...


Joder Jonh, que dominio del castellano, y qué cutre John, firmando en comic sans azulon.

[Chiflágoras]

Es que el listo siempre ha sido Lucas.

[curreta]

No te creas, que Andy tiene sus buenos momentos de lucidez también:

[Nicotin]

¿Y lo jodidamente mala que es "La hora chanante"?

[jubilao]

VIDEOS EN EXCLUSIVA DEL TIMO DE LOS GUARDIAS CIVILES RUMANOS

BANDA PELIGROSA!!!!!!!OJO TENER CUIDADO LAS QUE TENEIS COCHE MUCHO CUIDAD

INTERESANTE LEERLO CUIDADO CON LOS CONTROLES DE LA GUARDIA CIVIL


ME LLEGÓ ESTE EMAIL ALERTANDO Y ES MUY IMPORTANTE QUE TENGAIS CUIDADO. HAY IMÁGENES REALES DE LOS ATAQUES DE ESTA BANDA QUE SE CAMUFLA EN FALSOS COCHES DE LA GUARDIA CIVIL COMO ESTA: http://www.adnstream.tv/video/PeFbYeqZuz/


El otro dí­a un Comisario de la Policí­a Nacional, el Señor Manuel Piedrabuena, contó en una asamblea de la policí­a la actuación de una banda de Rumanos que opera en carreteras secundarias robando a la gente.

Esta información se filtró por un buen policía que quiere alertar a la población española.

Al parecer la banda, principalmente rumana pero en la que también operan personas de Bulgaria y Polonia, se disfraza de la Guardia Civil con un traje parecido (AQUÍ LO PODEIS VER), el tricornio y pistolas no homologadas. Tienen también coches parecidos a los de la Guardia Civil , que pintan para que se confundan.

Como su disfraz no es muy creíble a la luz del dí­a, esperan a que se haga de noche para realizar sus acciones.

Su modus-operandi es esperar a que aparezca un coche, y lo paran en el arcén.

La excusa es un control de alcoholemia, que te hacen dando siempre positivo, hayas bebido o no.

Todo el mundo, o la mayorí­a protesta y pide otra prueba... es ahí­ donde entra su juego. Te dicen que el alcoholí­metro posiblemente no funcione bien, y que te acerques al coche policial a que te hagan otra con la 'máquina fija' que tienen dentro del coche.

ES MENTIRA.PERO ES FÁCIL CONFUNDIRSE, NO HAY MÁS QUE VER SU DISFRAZ MAGISTRAL

Cuando entras en el coche, te encierran y te roban todo lo que encuentran en tu cartera, te quitan las tarjetas, el móvil y todo lo que encuentren de valor en el coche.

El mayor problema es que pueden utilizar tus tarjetas de crédito desde allí­, delante de ti y sin que te puedas hacer nada por cancelarlas pues te tienen bajo vigilancia directa todo el tiempo.

La Guardia Civil , nunca te pide que bajes del coche, y mucho menos que te metas en el suyo para hacer una prueba de alcoholímetro.

En algunas ocasiones se han dado casos de violencia contra los ciudadanos. Creerme, esta banda puede ser muy violenta si lo necesita.

Tened mucho cuidado cuando vais por carreteras secundarias, y os para la Guardia Civil , tened el móvil preparado para realizar una llamada a la POLICIA de VERDAD. Si conseguí­s denunciar esta banda que está causando estragos desarticularemos una célula entera, pues no son muy numerosos.

Tenemos que estar atentos y utilizar la fuerza de internet y la ciudadana ante esta situación.

Si permitimos que un grupo de rumanos, búlgaros y polacos campen a sus anchas, todos los rumanos y demás delincuentes querrían venir a España.

Sobra decir que hay que reenviar este mensaje a todos tus contactos. Por el bien de todos.



AQUÍ TENEIS A MIEMBROS DE LA BANDA EN ACCIÓN!!!!!!!!! OJO, ES MUY FACIL CONFUNDIRLOS CON LA GUARDIA CIVIL DE VERDAD!!!!!!

[poshol na]

Hello.
Thanks for your promt reply.
Remus Group Inc. mainly develops securely web databases for Spanish
companies and our contractors have ability to pay us only with incountry bank transfers.
You have to receive the payments from our contractors by bank transfer,
substract 10
commission and resend the remaining cash to our company by western union
cash transfer for example.
All the taxes are paid by us, we also pay all the fees connected with the
transfers.
You are guaranteed not less than EURO 4000 part time and EURO 6000 full time.
The job is legal, and your bank will be provided all contracts and tax
papers for transactions.
We offer our employees a competitive salary and benefits package,
including health, life/ad&d, long term disability,
paid time off, pre-tax reimbursement accounts, educational reimbursement,
voluntary supplemental insurance and employee assistance program.
You can choose any bank in your country to open account with.
You can open new account with banking institution or use your own one,
it's up to your convinience and doesn't matter to us.
I will need your address and home/cell phone numbers to contact you by
phone each time transaction is done.
You are paid daily after each transfer. The job is mostly in the morning
and afternoon.
Please, kindly fill the form in your reply e-mail:
Name:
Address:
Contact cell phone number:
Secondary phone number:
Currect employment status:

As soon as you open bank account and provide details required for transfers, our contractors will start sending money in 1-2 days.
Will be waiting for your reply.
Have a good day.
Nick Anderson
Remus Group Inc.
12 maikas str B 32,,
FI-00837 Stockholm, Sweden
A +46 139836625 REPLY DIRECTLY TO: [email protected]

[jubilao]

These are just some of the things I noticed about Spanish life which makes it different to life in the UK. And it is meant to be taken as 'tongue in cheek...'

1) You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is a good idea.

2) You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?

3) You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.

4) You've been part of a botellon.

5) You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.

6) Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

7) You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?

8) On msn you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'

9) You think that aceite de oliva is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.

10) You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.

11) You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?

12) You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' - but hate explaining it in English

14) You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack - they're just what all the cool kids eat.

15) You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.

16) Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: 'bueno,' 'coño,' 'vale,' 'venga,' 'pues nada'...

17) You know what a 'resaca' is.

18) You know how to eat boquerones.

19) A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.

20) You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.

21) You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.

22) If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out...

23) You know how to change a bombona. And if you don't, you were either lazy or lucky enough to live somewhere nice.

24) It's not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking 'Quien?' (or maybe that was just my flatmate...)

25) You don't accept beer that's anything less than ice-cold.

26) You know Bimbo isn't a slutty woman, it's a make of 'pan de molde' (which, incidentally, isn't mouldy)

27) The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.

28) You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.

29) You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

30) On some Sunday mornings you sometimes have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.

31) You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.

32) Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!

33) You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.

34) You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.

35) When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero (thanks Stuart Line for reminding me of that one!)

36) You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion...

37) You know that 'ahora' doesn't really mean now. Hasta ahora, ahora vuelvo...etc

38)When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15...if you're lucky!

39) Central heating is most definitely a foreign concept. In winter, you just huddle around the heater under the table & pull the blanket up over your knees...and sleep with about 5 blankets on your bed! (OK I accepot this is probably just in the south!)

40) When you laugh, you don't laugh your head off - te partas de risa.

41) Aceite de oliva is 'muy sano', of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.

42) Every single news bulletin on TV has at least 10 minutes on Real Madrid news and another 10 on Barcelona news.

43) When it's totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.

44) Te cagas en la leche....

45) To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for 'un esmirnoff'

46) When you know what a guiri is / have been called one

47) When you add 'super' in front of any adjective for emphasis

48) Blonde girls actually start to think their name is 'rubia'

49) When you accept that paying with a 50 euro note is going to get you a dirty look if you're buying something that costs less than 40 euros

50) If something is great, it's 'de puta madre'

51) You can eat up to 5 times a day - first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena

52) You know the jingle for Los Cuarenta Principales...

53) If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won't make sense. (Pebble Night was a personal favourite)

54) When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it's standard practice to ask 'Quien es la ultima?'

55) Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?

56) You know what 'marcha' and 'juerga' are.

57) You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.

58) Love it or hate it, you can't escape reggaeton.

59) You answer the phone by saying 'Yes', (well, or 'Tell me') and when identifying yourself you say 'I'm...' not 'It's...'. But when you try those tactics back home, everyone thinks you're mad or rude!

60) You carry on buying UHT milk when you get back home and your friends think this is disgusting but you can't understand their point of view.

61) Jamon, jamon y mas jamon....
(Can't say this was my favourite thing, being a a vegetarian and all, but I agree it's very much part of Spanish life!)

62) If you eat a lot of something, you're not going to 'turn into' it, you're going to 'get the face of it,' e.g 'te vas a poner cara de chocolate.' Somehow a lot more amusing!

63) Drinking coffee out of a glass is entirely normal.

64) 'Son las nueve, las ocho en Canarias' is how you are used to hearing radio DJs announce the time

65) You've been to your local town's feria/fiesta/semana santa

66) You're familiar with the term 'la crisis.' And have started shopping at Dia as a result (and of course, you take your own carrier bag).

[Babylon]

Jeje, este me ha gustado.

[wendigo]

Ese tiene toda la pinta e haber estado/estar por mis tierras.